Its like I'm on the Price is Right...

Yes, I am now the proud owner of a new-to-me car!


http://picasaweb.google.com/fomu65/2006HondaCivicHybrid#

last tuesday, during all the heavy rain, my camry's windshield sprung a leak and i still had standing water in my passenger side floorboards a day later. that, added to the fact i needed new tires and the car had a major oil leak, meant i would be chasing bad money with good if i had repaired it. at 243k miles, it was time to be put out to pasture.

the stats: 2006 honda civic hybrid. 60k miles. i picked it up for only 2/3 of the current going price for a similarly equipped car. here's where it gets interesting.

the owner's wife drove it from louisville to midway 4 days a week. she's an environmental lawyer. they're in their late 50s. she got an avalon hybrid recently and didn't need the civic. it has been garage kept. when i pulled up to look at it, the guy had to take a car cover off it. it had been very recently waxed. the interior was perfect and the engine looked like it came off the showroom. zero dirt anywhere on this car.

now, why was it relatively cheap? it had been wrecked prior to the dude purchasing it, but he had a quarter panel and the rear passenger door replaced. i couldn't even tell it had been repaired, much less repaired 4 years ago. whoever did the body work did an amazing job.

i didn't have to haggle; i gave him asking price. he didn't want to haggle and with that kind of a deal, i wasn't about to pass it up.

now here's the funny part... i saw the ad online last night about 9:30pm but realized it was way too late to call. i intended to call him at 9am this morning, but my boss called me at 8:45 and wanted me to give a demo to some vendors. finally called him at 10am and he couldn't meet till 4pm. i left work at 4:30pm, calling him as i drove toward where he told me he lived (didn't get an address, was supposed to get it when i called, but he gave me a neighborhood, so i knew kind of where to go). he didn't call me back for an hour so i sat in a park waiting. by this point i was seriously nervous the car was gone and he wasn't calling me back.

finally he calls. i drive 1/2 a mile to his house and get out to see him pulling the car cover off and realizing how gorgeous this car is. we test drive it and i look it over. he finally tells me that he's been trying to sell it all week, but it was raining so much that he didn't want to get it out of the garage to let people drive it because he'd just have to wash it again. he had 8 other people that had called before me, wanting to come look at the car this weekend, but because i got there with a checkbook first, the car was mine.

gets crazier... he and his wife are leaving the country for 3 weeks on tuesday, so it is either close the deal now or wait till january. yep, we're closing on monday. i can't wait to take it home!!!!

Gestures, Toastmaster's Speech 5

This speech is intended to focus on the gestures made by the speaker. Whenever you see something in double-parenthesis, this indicates a hand gesture that I will be making during the speech. I place this caveat here, otherwise the speech will be only amusing and not absolutely hilarious like the rest of junk I post here.

*****

If there is one thing I learned in the 4.5 months I lived in France, it is to never ever, under any circumstances, request ‘French Fries’ with a meal. Now, this rule isn’t because of the idiotic name change implemented at the Congressional cafeteria in the run-up to the Iraq war, because everyone thinks ‘Freedom Fries’ is dumb, not just the French. The French simply don’t understand why we Americans must refer to this deep-fried delicacy as having a French origin. The problem is, we’re not referring to this dish as French. The correct way to refer to sliced and fried potatoes is ‘Frenched Fries’. Note the ‘ed’ on the end of the first word and how it is different from how this dish is normally entitled, 'French Fries'. When we say that potatoes are 'frenched', we are referring specifically to the way in which they are cut ((chopping motion)). The name has nothing to do with what country they are from or any political affiliation, but with the method used to prepare the food.

So what, you say. Well, that's just my first ((hold up index finger)) rule about dining in France which I want to share with you today. My second ((hold up two fingers) rule for French dining regards the menu. Specifically, the amount of the French language you must master in order not to starve. I refer to this as 'Menu French' ((motion like I am opening a book)). There were several items I learned to steer away from when reading a menu, given my delicate palate. Whenever I saw the word 'poisson', I immediately thought of the English word 'poison.' The French word for fish is poisson. Given thatfish in France is served with the head on and I don't enjoy my dinner staring back at me ((point to my eyes)), the association of poisson and poison made perfect sense.

Similar in concept was the term 'langouste'. This time in addition to the eyes, the 'food item' ((hand quotes)) had antenna ((wiggle fingers on the sides of my head)) and pincer claws ((make pinching motions with hands)). If you had not already guessed, 'longouste' would be the French word for crawfish. When served with a leafy green salad, which is all I thought I was getting when I made this ordering faux pas, it is a common appetizer.

Ordering is itself a different process in France, which leads me to my third point ((hold up three fingers), deciphering the menu layout. Most traditional restaurants have the option of ordering a la carte, just as is found in American restaurants, but it is not the normal way to order. The concept of a 'plate meal' is deeply entrenched in French society and is frankly one if the concepts that I grew to adore. For a set price, you can select from a limited set of menu items, one from each course of the meal. Most mid-range and lower restaurants allow the selection of an appetizer, a main dish and a dessert. What is so wonderful about this method is its simplicity and its ability to make a meal of your choosing without having to wonder if this will cost an arm and a leg or just your firstborn.

Moving on to point four ((four fingers)), I submit to you that we as Americans rush through our meals without stopping to enjoy the conversation or to appreciate what went into the meal we are enjoying. All too often, we shovel ((shoveling motion over the shoulder)) our food into our mouths to get past the meal and on to something else. Our restaurant culture reinforces this by requiring all wait staff to push table turnover so they make more in tips each evening.

French culture does away with this by forcing patrons to slow down. Way down, in fact. Slow like playing a record at half speed slow. If your waiter doesn't appear at your table until about 20 minutes after you have been seated, this isn't dereliction of duty or some snooty Frenchman, its actually common courtesy. Trying to speed up the waiter is actually rude. If at an hour into your stay in the restaurant, you have your appetizer, feel lucky. Most meals last two and a half to three hours and once your dessert is delivered, you'll have to trip or lasso the waiter just to get the check. Don't think them rude, consider that they are doing their best to make sure you remember why it is you chose to eat out.

When you next dine in gay Paris, remember these tips for a more pleasant dining experience. Oh, and one more thing, if you're ever offered a 'French Hot Dog', my suggestion is to decline. That is unless you just happen to like eating a hot dog bun with a snail in it ((make gesture like you're eating a hot dog)).

Music for the Road

Back in early May, my house became the gathering place for a very special day. It had been more than 10 years since my good friend, Curtis Brown, passed away. For those of us who knew this incredibly special guy, it was a day of remembrance, laughter and much joy. Many of us had not seen each other since we had graduated, or since Curtis' funeral, so not only did we spend time remembering our friend, but remembering why we were all friends with one another.

One of the things that I did in anticipation of that day was to put together a play list of songs I knew Curtis either loved or likely would have loved had he been around long enough to hear them. A large portion of the play list was provided by the Dave Matthews Band and Billy Joel, two of Curtis' favorites.

Of all the songs on that play list that remind me of him, the one that stands out the most is Lullaby, by Joel. The song was played at Curtis' funeral. I don't remember ever listening to that song with him, but it is deeply entwined with my last moments with him. For that reason, and that it is a beautiful song, it has been a touchpoint for me for more than a decade. Its one of those songs that centers and brings clarity about life and what a gift it truly is to each of us.

But despite having that playlist on my iPhone for nearly 4 months now, I don't know that I've listened to it since that day back in May. Its not that I was burned out on it or avoiding it, but I spent a great deal of time putting it together, listening to it over and over, making sure it was something fitting for my friend. It was a labor of love, so to speak.

As I drove home this evening, having gone to a board meeting after work and had a generally cruddy couple of weeks, I decided it was time to turn off NPR's non-stop coverage of Ted Kennedy's passing and spend a little time with some good music. As the songs flipped through on random, eventually, as it always does, Lullaby by Billy Joel came on.

Many of you know I was a vocal major my first two years in college, and because of that and all the years I sang before that time, there are just some songs that it is nearly impossible for me to sing, especially if I am alone in the car. This song definitely falls into that category. As I sang, I remembered a story I told to the assembled friends back in May.

When I got married in October of 2008, I told my wife that I had only one regret about our wedding day, and that was that Curtis was not there to share the day with us. He just means that much to me and helped make me into the person I am today. His friendship allowed me to express my frustrations with life, small though they seem now more than 10 years later, and allowed me to be a sounding board for his frustrations. He and I grew together in ways I just cannot explain.

There were many firsts that have happened in the last 10 years that Curtis and I did not get to experience together, and every time one of those comes up, I pause just a moment to think about how exactly he would have responded upon hearing whatever news it was that seems so important.

After Curtis died, I said that if I were ever to have a son, I would want to name him after my departed friend. No, its not really a popular name anymore. Yes, most people think it a 'dork' name (something I don't think Curtis would argue at all). Regardless, its something I have always considered to be a last memorial to my good friend.

Well, that time may have come. Its been nearly 10 weeks since my wife informed me that she is indeed pregnant. What a crazy few months it has been, too. I'm still in a bit of shock at the news, but I am slowly coming to accept the idea of being a father. We still don't yet know if the child will be a boy or a girl, but as Jaime and I have discussed names for the potential kid, the first one I tossed into the ring was Curtis.

Even though it was my go-to option, I honestly had not thought about exactly what that means; not until my drive home tonight. As Lullaby played, and as I sang those lyrics, I thought about how one day soon I will be singing them to my child. As I sing, I will be reminded of my good friend, regardless of if the child is named after him or not, and I will be reminded again that he is not here to share in this moment with me.

Yes, I choked up just a bit. I don't know how I could not choke up. The unfairness of it all, the pain of not having him here all came back in a rush. What is a very joyous moment once again brought back all the pain that comes with that missing part of me that was he.

But as we who knew Curtis well know, things with him could turn around very quickly. As the song ended, the random fickleness of the iPod app took on a life all of its own. At the sound of the first strum of the guitar, I knew the song and knew that somewhere Curtis was probably laughing at my maudlin self. The song? Lie In Our Graves, by DMB. Here's a lyrical sample:

When I step into the light my arms open wide
When I step into the light my eyes searching wild
Would you not like to be
Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free
Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok

And just like that, the laughter kicked in, and everything really was ok. Yes, I still miss him and yes, I still wish that he were here to share in this time of my life... but its ok, ok, ok. I felt Curtis suddenly beside me, giving me one of his mock slaps to the head, calling me a schmuck and telling me to get on living my life. He'd be fine, I would be fine and I was acting like a baby when I should be happy about expecting a baby.

I'm not sure what this says...

So, first up, take a look at this video. Now, think about what you just saw and tell me that something just doesn't look a wee bit out of place in it. Was I the only person to notice that the only white people in the entire clip were the media?

Seriously, all cultural stereotypes aside, you can't tell me that there wasn't one mad white person in that entire line of annoyed customers. You can't tell me that not even one redneck would allow themselves to be filmed spewing venom at the good people of Popeyes.

Ok, so maybe the franchisee was dumb (maybe all of them were) for not ordering enough chicken to last the day. Maybe corporate operations could only allot so much to any given store. Maybe they intentionally didn't order enough so they didn't incur such a large immediate cost. All of these are possibilities, none of which we can honestly say for sure is the truth.

What we do know is that if this news channel wasn't paying attention, and given that HORRIBLY bad pun at the start of the segment I can't help but think they were not, then this story really makes the entire staff look terrible. Seriously, is this really journalism?

The content of the customers comments made me feel right at home here in KY though. Change out a chicken restaurant for a hamburger joint, preferably McDonalds, and I could see carloads of hillbillies raising just as much of a stink. I especially enjoyed the woman who implied that the store running out of chicken was taking food out of her kid's mouths. It was even more amusing because it didn't look like she had missed a meal herself in a loooooong time. The dude who claimed he was done with Popeye's over this made me laugh as well. Seriously, you're getting an 8 piece bucket of chicken for $5 and you're complaining that they sold so well the store ran out? Dude, get there earlier next time if it bothers you that bad.

If anything, this story should teach us that stupidity knows no bounds as everyone here needed a wake-up call, if for totally different reasons. Utterly idiotic.

Toastmaster's speech #4 - Magician

Sorcerer. Wizard. Warlock. Enchanter. Mage. Magus. Magician. IT worker.

Ok, so at first you're thinking... "um, did you kind of get that list a little mixed up? Its like you're playing one of those 'which one of these is not like the other' games." You may be right, but after I had some time to process my little epiphany, I have come to realize that the IT worker of today's world was the Magician of 1,000 years ago. You may not believe me yet, but I promise that I can convince you.

First, lets consult Wikipedia and see if you can play 'spot the geek' in this description:

Wizards can act the part of the absent-minded professor, being foolish, prone to misconjuring, and generally less than dangerous; they can also be terrible forces, capable of great magics that work good or evil. Even comic wizards are often capable of great feats, such as those of Miracle Max in The Princess Bride; although a washed-up wizard fired by the villain, he saves the mostly dead hero.

Doesn't this really describe your average IT worker? Always seems to be lost around people. Prone to utter the words, "Well, that didn't work how I thought it would." Able to retrieve files you thought were totally lost and bring inanimate matter back to life!

Consider the language used by your average magician. Fantasy novels describe how a sorcerer speaks in dead tongues or languages that have not been spoken by men for thousands of years. When mere mortals here the words of a spell, their hairs rise up and their skin crawls, if they’re not just driven insane on the spot.

Now, think of the last time you called tech support. How many times did you hear any of the following phrases: dll, shockwave, corruption, 404, pixel, cpu, usenet, botnet, keyloging, authentication. Now take those words, string them together into a spell and picture the geek on the other end of the line wearing a big black robe with matching black hat reciting them loudly. Nah, that doesn’t sound like magic at all, does it?

But let us not skip over that line about wielding 'terrible forces' from my earlier quote! Think about all the power an IT worker has over your every day life. Can you remember the last time at your job when email or Internet access was down for an extended period of time? Do you remember what that was like? No? Well, me neither, but that's because I blocked out those hideous hours from my memory, too. Not only can a network or computer outage ruin our productivity, but it can ruin our day as well.

So what is the source of an IT worker's power? Magicians of old claimed to be blessed by God or cursed by the Devil, depending upon whether or not there was some mob of officer workers, er, farmers, trying to burn them at the stake for bringing down the Internet connection, er, I mean causing the crop to fail and the cow's milk to dry up. For IT workers, its really much the same. I am an IT worker, and honestly, ever since I can remember, I've just had this affinity for computer and electronic equipment. I have never really understood why this is, but computer equipment just seems to work for me. Its not something I asked for, and not something I ever really had to work for, it just kind of made sense so I went with it. And just like magicians of old, I claim it as both blessing and curse. Blessing because everyone who knows I'm good at what I do wants my help and cursed because they won't leave me alone, either.

No matter what the claimed source, study and experience were always the backbone of Magicians. Most were understudies of some old wizard of great power who guided the youngling into the full blossom of their strength. Its usually the same for IT worker, most of whom spend years in college learning the basics and then go out into the workplace and find that some grey-beard who remembers when punch cards and vacuum tubes were high tech to mentor them. Others, such as myself, had a brief encounter in their formative years with a relative genius that inspired their imagination so much that they set out to learn all they could about technology.

But like magicians, IT workers come in all types, with different levels of power, influence and ability. Some work the helpdesk for the rest of their lives, helping to shepherd poor users through installing their new printer. Others move on to creating new spells, er, programs that are inflicted, I mean installed, on computers all over the planet. Those rare and dedicated few, who become so consumed with their craft that they end up as CIO or as professors, trying to shepherd new geeks in training who are just starting out their new geeky career.

So the next time you curse technology and pray to God that all electronic equipment finds its way into the fiery heart of the sun, remember that out there somewhere is an IT magician who loves their computer and destroying it would be destroying that person’s best friend.

A link from a friend...

So, it seems that I must once again delve into a bit of economics. I find it amusing to watch people push numbers back and forth, but a link sent to me by a friend, who is a backer of Ron Paul, and the limitation of reply length in Facebook, means you are all seeing this here in my blog.

Without further adieu, the link:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/23/paul.bailout/index.html

First, I just have to draw attention to something outside of the article itself, namely the introduction some editor dropped in. Look, no matter how much anyone agrees or disagrees with Mr. Paul, you have to admit the statement about the number of babies he's claimed to have delivered means nothing to this discussion of economics. When I had my gall bladder out a few years ago, the one thing I didn't ask my doctor about was economic theory. So, why exactly is it important to note Ron Paul's delivery count here? Asinine.

Moving on, I want to start out looking at the things at which Ron Paul says that are true:

1. The economy is messed up. Despite what some presidential candidates claimed for way too long, the economy is not fine. Far from it.
2. The Federal Reserve's loose monetary policy did lead to poor lending practices. Leaving the interest rate at 1% for an entire year was asking for trouble. With that much easy and cheap money sloshing around for so very long, we are lucky things now are not worse. Yes, the economy was bad after 9/11. Yes, drastic measures were needed to restart the economy, but we went too far... and we're getting close to that bad again.
3. Government takeover of private companies is never ideal.
4. The people who caused this mess should be held accountable.
   

That said, lets look at things which are not true, or at best, half truths:

1. While this economic crisis is probably the worst since the Great Depression, there are some very large differences between now and then, namely, a better understanding of economic theory, something Mr. Paul seems to be neglecting. First, right after the market crash that started the Great Depression, the Fed made the poorest choice possible and raised the interest rate up. Way up. So high, no one could afford to borrow money. Add that to increased taxes created by a knee-jerk reaction to the sudden shortfal in government revenues and an untimely drive by legislators to balance the budget, all of which led to the depression getting so bad. Thankfully, we have people who are a bit more wise in control of our economy right now. Unlike Mr. Paul, Mr. Bernanke knows economics, especially economics during the Great Depression. Mr. Bernanke has made the Great Depression an intregal part of his academic study, something that makes me especially glad he is at the helm at this moment in history. Those who study history are much less likely to repeat it.
2. Next up, the purchase and bail-out of numerous corporations. Wait, didn't I just say in point 3 above I agreed with Ron Paul, so how can I now disagree with the same statement? While I agree that facilitating a buyout or just straight-out bailing out is generally not good, letting these companies fail is even worse. See my previous link about why the Great Depression was so bad, especially the part about 60 banks per month failing because of the complete lack of investor confidence, and you will see exactly why Ron Paul is wrong in this specific instance, although he is right in the general sense of his statement. Not stopping the bleeding now, when only a few companies have failed, will do nothing but continue the domino effect, taking the entire economy down with the banking and housing sectors.
   
3. Tossing the Community Reinvestment Act under the proverbial bus is nothing more than finding a personal pet annoyance on which to blame the entire mess. Even though the act likely did add to the problem, it was far from the cause. (See Criticism, and yes, I hate linking to Wikipedia, but they do link to some quality articles.) At worst, the act was responsible for half of the problem, and even then, that happened because of the abuse of the act. The act had the best of intentions, and is the source of some really good things, but as with all legislation, it is an imperfect tool and could use some revision.
4. The market, when unconstrained, will not act in everyone's best interest. Deregulation is not our friend. Just look at where deregulation of AT&T got us... a new AT&T with a few major telecom failures along the way because people got greedy. I really don't have to mention many other instances here where deregulation was supposed to be the best thing for the industries when in reality it drove the industries into dangerous practices, taking down the retirement accounts of average Americans along with the companies themselves. Yes, investors willingly chose to enter those markets and got what they paid for. All that said, what is good is right regulation. Not more, not less, but the correct application of regulation. The idea here is to keep industry from making stupid decisions just because they can (or because of rouge elements in a company that make bad decisions for the group). Yes, this does limit the upside potential, but the offset of the top is much less than the downside risk. That's sound financial theory when correctly applied.

All that said, I would like to make one more point regarding a conversation recently had with this same friend: Yes, Ron Paul is a wacko... but not for the reasons you might think I would say that.

As I stated at the opening, there are several points on which I agree with him, but even the reasons I stated later are not enough to earn him that designation. Ron Paul attempted to run for president, and lost. Why? He is, in a word, unelectable. I applaud the man's principled stand, even if I don't necessarily agree with it. It is one thing to publically espouse a position in which you believe, but to ignore the reality of the world and political climate in which we live means you also relinquish your ability to make a change in it.

See, its not that I think Ron Paul is lying, only that if he did win the election, he would still be unable to ever enact his proposed changes. Don't believe me? Check out some history. For the last 60 years, Republican presidents have been claiming that they're saving the world from 'tax and spend Democrats', getting elected and becoming 'borrow and flush Republicans.' Look at all the money spent by Republicans, and what do we have to show for it? During every single Republican administration in the last 60 years where Republicans have also been in charge of Congress, the budget defecit has grown exponentially. When one party is in charge of the government and the other in charge of congress, the bleeding slows. When Democrats are in charge of both, the bleeding grinds to a hault. Check out chart #1 and its really easy to see.

Its not that I think the Democratic party has some lock on reducing spending; I don't believe that at all. The Democrats get the 'tax and spend' label honestly, but that is not a bad thing. At least Democrats are honest about paying for things we get right now and not pushing the debt off onto our children and grandchildren. Republicans have nearly guaranteed that they will do nothing about our out of control spending habits and will continue to push off paying for the mistakes until they are well out of office. Isn't a debt service equal to 20% of the government budget enough all ready?

To me, this is a travesty. Its even worse for someone like Ron Paul. I would love to elect him if I thought he could solve the problems, but his own party would almost assuredly never agree to his policies even if he were elected. The last 60 years of history speak all too clearly on this point. So, yes, Ron is a wacko, if only for the way he torpedos his own ability to enact the changes for which he stands.

um, yeah.... so....

ok, tell me something i didn't know already?

You Are 96% Interesting

Believe it or not, you are a very fascinating person. You're probably too busy being interesting to realize exactly how interesting you are. You have a rich, full life. You are curious about the world, and you are very open to new experiences. You have a lot to talk about, and people find you to be an amazing conversationalist. And most importantly, you are truly interested in other people. How could anyone find that boring? You truly listen and learn from others. You're not self absorbed or shallow.

Are You Boring or Interesting?